Courage and interpersonal issues: The Adlerian thinking

I have been a big fan of Alfred Adler since I started applying positive discipline with my children. However, I have never had the time to delve deeply enough into all of his thinking.

Just to bring some perspective, Adler started the Vienna circle with Sigmund Freud and both of them had a major influence on the development of psychology and psychoanalysis. Unfortunately for us, Freud's trauma-based thinking gained more prominence than Adler's "power of now" approach.

Adlerian psychology invites us to rethink our relationship with the past and the future, emphasizing the power of purpose in our lives. Unlike the Freudian perspective, which attributes our actions and emotions to past experiences, Adler proposes that we are architects of our destiny, guided by the goals and meanings we choose.

TL;DR: All the problems we face in life are linked to our 
interpersonal relationships (myself with others); without 
others, there would be no suffering. Our true happiness is based 
on 1. Being autonomous, 2. Being ourselves, and 3. Contributing 
to others. To achieve this freedom (happiness), we only need the
Courage to do what we believe we should do.

These are my notes on his thinking (I wish they were much more widespread than Freud's):

Redefining the impact of trauma (teleology versus etiology)

In the Freudian view, etiology focuses on the causes of our behaviors, suggesting that traumas and past experiences deterministically shape us. In contrast, Adler introduces teleology, which centers on the ends and purposes we pursue. From this perspective, it is not the trauma itself that limits us, but the meaning and use we assign to it in our personal narrative. This view empowers us to reinterpret and transcend our experiences, focusing on the purpose we choose for our lives.

Emotions as strategic tools

Adler suggests that emotions are not mere automatic reactions but instruments we use to achieve specific objectives. For example, anger does not simply arise as a response; we generate it to assert ourselves or set boundaries. This perspective invites us to be more aware of how and why we cultivate certain emotions in specific contexts.

The courage to change: facing the fear of the unknown

Change is a constant in life, but we often resist it out of fear of the unknown. Adler emphasizes that while we all have the capacity to transform, it is courage that determines whether we take that step. This approach resonates with the idea that opportunities arise at the extremes and that venturing beyond our comfort zone can lead to significant growth.

From inferiority to growth: using shortcomings as a catalyst

We all experience feelings of inferiority at some point. However, Adler distinguishes between the feeling of inferiority, which can be a catalyst for improvement, and the inferiority complex, which paralyzes us. By recognizing our shortcomings and viewing them as opportunities to grow, we can transform our self-perception and move toward our goals with determination.

Freeing oneself from the need for approval: true freedom

The constant search for external approval can become a prison that limits our authenticity. Adler urges us to free ourselves from this need, suggesting that true freedom lies in the courage to be oneself, even if that means not pleasing everyone. This perspective encourages us to prioritize our own voice and values over others' expectations.

Community as a source of meaning and well-being

Our happiness and sense of belonging are intrinsically linked to our connection with the community. Adler emphasizes that collaboration and interpersonal relationships are fundamental to a fulfilling life. By contributing to and actively participating in our community, we not only find purpose but also strengthen our support network and mutual growth.

Living in the present: life as a journey without a fixed destination

Adler invites us to see life not as a series of goals to achieve but as a continuous journey full of present moments. This vision encourages us to appreciate the here and now, finding meaning in each experience and freeing ourselves from anxiety about the future or the weight of the past.

Constructing our own meaning of life

Life does not come with a predetermined manual of meaning. According to Adler, we are the ones who give it meaning through our actions, decisions, and relationships. This perspective empowers us to be the authors of our own narrative, choosing paths that resonate with our values and aspirations.

In essence, Adlerian psychology offers us a lens to see ourselves as active agents in constructing our lives, emphasizing the power of purpose, community, and authenticity in our quest for a full and meaningful existence.